


Paasa

by artificialmac



Series: Foreign Word Fics [9]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Foreign Word Fics, M/M, Pining, Sexual Content, Unrequited Crush, fwf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Paasa (Tagalog) – A person who leads someone on (intentionally or not). Appearing as if they are genuinely interested romantically when they aren’t.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my series of one-shots inspired by foreign words with no English translation.

Courtney got too attached to people.

This was old news to anyone that knew the queen personally. Sure she had one night stands left, right, and upside down. But it is the people that she doesn’t sleep with that end up meaning the most to her.

Courtney first saw Willam on CSI: New York, and then on Women’s Murder Club, and then on Criminal Minds. Basically Courtney recognized the strong-jawed blonde on almost every cop show she turned on. Then she saw Willam on Drag Race. Courtney was completely enamored with the confidence and hilarity that encompassed Willam Belli.

The two first met at the Season 6 Reunion. Courtney was already tense because of the crowning, but when she saw Willam amidst many other well-known queens, her nerves nearly doubled. She thought about walking over and saying something, but her feet wouldn’t move.

Months later Courtney sat in the middle of a couch pressed against Adore and Bianca. She wasn’t terribly surprised by Bianca’s win. The queen completely deserved it, and Courtney was happy for her.

Bianca hugged Courtney and Adore close as they made their way to the party. The three smiled as cameras flashed all around them. Bianca gave a speech, and read the crowd for filth. Courtney and Adore were struggling to breathe they were laughing so hard.

After her speech, everything just became a giant mass of bodies and drinks. Courtney made her way to the bar, and surveyed the throng of people. She picked out a few familiar faces. Alaska was dancing in the middle of the floor, her small frame pressed between two bodies. Courtney noticed Sharon watching the blonde queen unblinking. Raja was doing a body shot off of someone. It looked like Manila, but Courtney couldn’t really see.

A gruff voice came from her right, causing her to turn her head. Willam was sliding into the barstool next to her. “Tough luck out there.”

Courtney chuckled. “Yeah you could say that.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You were the prettiest bitch the whole season, no way you won’t be booked.”

“Thanks I guess.”

Willam hmmed.

There was an awkward silence until some shirtless buff guy came over and grabbed Willam’s hand and began to pull him out of the club. Willam went with the guy, but not before glancing once more at Courtney.

Willam was right. After the last episode of the season aired, Courtney was booked every month for the next year. She became fast friends with many of the previous drag race girls, including Willam. The more Courtney found out about Willam, the more infatuated she was. The two became extremely close over the next year. Both had similar interests in music and just in general. They enjoyed performing together, and just talking. Hanging out with Willam was an event, and she never left their meet-ups without her sides hurting.

Whenever they met up there was always this underlying tension. Courtney convinced herself that Willam didn’t know how flirty he was being. She was wrong.

Willam had always had a habit of messing with things that weren’t his, and pushing boundaries. That was one of the main reasons he had an open relationship. Also why he didn’t have many friends. He ended up sleeping with their boyfriends or saying something offensive. When he first met Courtney at the season 6 after party, he had no idea she would become one of his closest friends. He didn’t remember how, it just kind of happened.

But he wasn’t an idiot. Courtney thought she was being sneaky, but Willam saw it all. The stolen glances, the hugs that would last just a little too long, the way she only ever smiled that wide when he was around.

The bad thing was that Willam actually flirted back. He touched her too much and laughed too loud, teasing her. He told himself he acted that way with everyone, but in the back of his mind he knew he was just pushing to see how long it would take for her to break. It was fucked up and wrong on so many levels. Willam really liked hanging out with Courtney, but that was as far as his interest in her went. He knew he should stop, that it was wrong to do this to her, but he got a thrill from it. He liked being wanted, and that was why, when he was asked to be a part of a new campaign for American Apparel, he dialed Courtney’s number, quickly followed by Alaska’s.

The three of them spent an entire night brainstorming song ideas. Willam and Courtney got drunk; they said it was for ‘inspiration.’ Alaska rolled her eyes at them. After too many red bulls, and no sleep, they had written a kick ass song. A month later they were recording it and having a photo shoot. It all happened so fast. The song was released that summer and from then on, they were known as the American Apparel Ad girls.

Courtney loved hanging out with Alaska and Willam. At first she was a little upset that it wasn’t just her and Willam, but after the first few shows she realized how much better they were because of Alaska. She brought a whole new energy to performances. Not to mention how funny she was.

Courtney was also thrilled that she got to spend more time with Willam. He had become increasingly affectionate towards her, but it was starting to become a problem. She would be singing and his fingers would intertwine with hers on stage and she would lose her concentration. She tried to push those feelings away, knowing they would only lead to heartbreak. But every time Willam even glanced at her, her chest tightened.

One night they were performing in a bigger place than usual. They could all three fit comfortably on the stage, which was a plus. They did their songs and bantered back and forth a little. Willam was being extra affectionate tonight. The crowd ate it up, and Courtney shook her head each time, trying to clear it and regain her ability to think cohesively. The show was over in a flash and Courtney found herself backstage with her third beer in her hand. Willam sat to her left and Alaska on her right. Willam was talking to one of the tech guys about his many sexcapades. Alaska was thinking up some ideas with Jeremy. Courtney sat in between the two and held her beer bottle closer.

Time passed and Courtney, Willam, and Alaska were the only ones left in the small room.

Alaska yawned and stood up stretching. “I’m heading back to the hotel, do you guys want to come with?”

Courtney thought about getting up, but the couch was so comfortable that she couldn’t bear part with it.

“I’m gonna hang here for just a little longer. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Alaska looked worriedly from Willam to Courtney.

“I’ll stay with her. Go ahead. We will see you tomorrow.”

Alaska nodded begrudgingly and gave them one last look over her shoulder, before exiting the club.

Courtney turned to face Willam. “You didn’t have to stay. I’m fine.” To prove just how fine she was, Courtney tried to stand up. She would have fallen flat on her face, if not for Willam’s strong arms that caught her. She laughed loudly and looked up into Willam’s eyes. Then she stopped laughing. They stood there, not breaking eye contact, until Courtney snapped and lunged at Willam.

He didn’t move at first, still in shock. After a second he began to kiss back. Willam kissed like he acted. Confident and unapologetic. Courtney felt like she was drowning. Willam deepened the kiss, causing a small moan from Courtney. She felt his smile against her lips and she couldn’t help the blush that rose to her cheeks.

When Courtney pulled away to catch her breath, Willam began to leave kisses along her neck and across her shoulder. She pulled him in for another breathless kiss. Courtney knew they should probably talk about this. They were both drunk out of their minds and weren’t thinking about the consequences. She was just about to pull away and tell him that, when Willam placed his hand under her dress. All thoughts about talking flew from her head.

The two staggered out of the club and into a waiting cab. Willam kept making grabs at Courtney’s crotch on the drive to the hotel. He would rub her just the right way to get her moaning lightly, and then stop suddenly. The two managed to get into Willam’s room, only running into two walls and a door in the process.

As soon as the door was closed, Willam had Courtney up against it. He dominated the kiss, and let his hands wander over her body. She tried to do the same but he grabbed her hands and placed them above her head, giving a warning look. She obeyed his silent command and shifted slightly toward Willam, begging him to touch her.

His hands slid down and had just begun to rub against her erection, when he suddenly stopped. She whimpered when he pulled his hand away. The rest of his body quickly followed. Courtney was still standing against the door, but Willam had travelled to the opposite end of the hotel room.

His eyes were wide and he wouldn’t look at Courtney. She sensed his uneasiness and she approached him slowly.

Willam only backed away. ”I’m sorry Courtney I can’t do this.”

She was dumbfounded. He had been kissing her only minutes ago. “What? Why not? I thought you had an open relationship.”

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“Then what?”

“I think you have the wrong impression. I don’t want this.” She gave him a confused look. “I don’t want you.”

She tried to keep her composure and not let him see her breaking at his words. “What was all of that then?”

“I was just testing my theory. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done this.”

“Your theory?” Courtney’s drunken mind was sobering up, and she began to understand what was going on.

“I thought you liked me, but I wasn’t sure. So I tried being really affectionate to see what you would do. I never meant for it to get this far. I’m sorry.”

“Seriously Bill? You pretended to like me to prove a point? What the hell is wrong with you?” Courtney’s voice rose.

“I am so sorry.”

“And well you should be. Why didn’t you just do what a normal person would do and ask me? Why did you make me think I had a chance?”

Willam was speechless. He figured if he said ‘sorry’ again she might punch him.

Courtney was livid at this point. “So you have nothing to say for yourself?” Willam’s mouth opened and closed, trying to find the right words, but coming up with none. She huffed a laugh. “God I was so stupid.” Courtney turned her back to Willam and turned the doorknob, but before she left, she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, “They were all right about you.”


End file.
